Ghosting, Breadcrumbing, and Benching Understanding the New Dating Terms
By Emily | August 18th, 2025
Key Takeaways
- Ghosting is Their Issue, Not Yours: If someone disappears, it’s their communication style, not your worth. Focus on self-care.
- Don’t Settle for Breadcrumbs: If you’re getting just enough attention but no commitment, it’s breadcrumbing. Demand clarity or walk away.
- Get Off the Bench: If you feel like a backup, that could be benching. Know your value, communicate needs, and remove yourself from their sidelines.
Let’s be honest, modern dating has gotten a bit wild, with dating apps and changing social norms throwing a bunch of new (and confusing) terms our way. But understanding them can actually be super empowering, providing some helpful insights to navigate the scene. Today, we’re breaking down ghosting, breadcrumbing, and benching, three common but often misunderstood dating moves, so you can handle them in healthy and productive ways.
What is Ghosting?
So, what exactly is ghosting? It’s when someone you’ve been talking to just – poof – disappears without a trace, leaving you confused and hurt.
- Why it Happens: Often, people ghost to avoid awkward chats, or they simply lack the communication skills to end things.
- How it Feels: Being ghosted stings. It leaves you feeling rejected, confused, and insecure.
- What to Do: If you’ve been ghosted, remember, it’s about them, not you. Focus on self-care, accept it’s part of modern dating, and resist chasing answers. And if you’re thinking of ghosting, try to communicate clearly!
What is Breadcrumbing?
Ever feel like someone’s just tossing little crumbs of attention, but never the whole cookie? That’s breadcrumbing. It’s when a person sends just enough sporadic messages or vague invites to keep you hooked, but has zero intention of building anything real.
- Why it Happens: Often, they’re looking for an ego boost, want to keep options open, or fear commitment, enjoying validation without effort.
- How it Feels: Being breadcrumbed is frustrating! You’re left constantly wondering if something’s happening, feeling strung along and emotionally confused.
- What to Do: Spot these inconsistent signals. Decide if you’ll directly ask for clarity, or if it’s better for your peace to walk away.
What is Benching?
Do you feel like you’re being kept as a “backup player” on someone’s dating roster? That’s benching. They keep you on the sidelines with occasional texts or flirtations, but never fully committing or prioritising you. This often happens on dating apps.
- Why it Happens: They might want to keep options open, enjoy the attention, or are unsure what they want but don’t want to lose you.
- How it Feels: Being benched creates uncertainty and mixed signals, leaving you feeling undervalued or unimportant.
- What to Do: Clearly communicate your needs, recognise your value, and decide if this half-hearted effort is what you deserve. Time to take yourself off their bench!
The Impact of These Behaviours on Mental Health
Dealing with ghosting, breadcrumbing, and benching isn’t just annoying, it can really mess with your head. These ambiguous dating moves often leave you feeling insecure and anxious, chipping away at your self-esteem. Over time, this emotional rollercoaster can lead to major trust issues and exhaustion, making it harder to build meaningful relationships. To protect your peace, focus on your self-worth, take breaks from dating apps when needed, and always prioritise clear, open communication.
How to Avoid These Dating Pitfalls
So, how do you make sure you’re not accidentally falling into the trap of ghosting, breadcrumbing, or benching others? It all comes down to being a good human in the dating world.
- Communicate, Communicate, Communicate: If you’re not feeling it, just say so kindly and clearly.
- Be Upfront About Your Intentions: Know what you’re looking for and share it to set realistic expectations.
- Date with Integrity: Treat others how you’d want to be treated, respecting their time and feelings.
- Self-Reflect Honestly: Before dating, check in with yourself about your relationship goals to avoid leading others on.
What to Do If You’re Experiencing Ghosting, Breadcrumbing, or Benching
Okay, so you’ve recognised one of these frustrating behaviors happening to you. It stinks, we know! But here’s how to handle it and protect your peace of mind.
- If you’re being Ghosted: Find your own closure. Their disappearance reflects them, not you. Focus on self-care and move on.
- If you’re experiencing Breadcrumbing: Be brave and address it directly. If they won’t step up, stop picking up the crumbs.
- If you’re being Benched: Have an honest conversation about their intentions. If they can’t commit, it’s time to walk away and find someone who prioritises you.
Beyond the Buzzwords: Dating with Clarity and Confidence
Understanding tricky behaviors like ghosting, breadcrumbing, and benching empowers you to navigate modern dating with confidence. These frustrating realities thrive online, but by championing clarity, communication, and self-respect, you really can build healthier connections. Reflect on your dating approach and embrace future relationships with openness. You’ve got this!