{"id":1331,"date":"2019-08-30T17:01:25","date_gmt":"2019-08-30T07:01:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/cityswoon.com\/blog\/"},"modified":"2023-03-16T13:21:49","modified_gmt":"2023-03-16T03:21:49","slug":"new-dating-rules-for-successful-professionals","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cityswoon.com.au\/blog\/new-dating-rules-for-successful-professionals","title":{"rendered":"New Dating Rules for Successful Professionals"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
In our\nswipe-right culture, dating has become gamified. And this is GREAT when you\naren\u2019t sure what you\u2019re looking for (except for fun, that is), and are still\npreoccupied with your career.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But at\na certain point you may find you\u2019re ready to find a longterm partner.\nUnfortunately, if you\u2019ve been in a demanding professional environment for a few\nyears you might not feel 100% comfortable moving into more serious dating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\nHere are a few of my recommendations to help you\nfeel more at ease as you start looking for that lifelong connection\n\n\n\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n
1. Commit to Growth<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
A\nsurprising secret is that dating is a skill, just like anything else.<\/p>\n\n\n\nCommit to growth in yourself<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n
Think\nabout it. You\u2019re successful in your career because you\u2019ve put an extensive\namount of time, resources, and energy into developing yourself professionally.\nYou\u2019ve nurtured your skills, taken risks, and invested countless hours of\neffort.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Have\nyou done that with your dating life? I suspect not. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You\nalso didn\u2019t anticipate being at 100% in your career from day one, when you\nstarted your path to success in work. Instead, you allowed yourself a few\nmissteps along the way. You embraced the fact that there\u2019s a learning curve in\nevery profession.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Serious\ndating is very much the same. It can feel awkward at first. Really awkward.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Especially\nif you\u2019re used to being in charge and tend to feel best about yourself while\nworking, innovating, or dealmaking. (I see this often, especially with the\nhighly-successful men I work with as a luxury matchmaker. They get into that\nleadership zone at the top of their game and feel great in that particular\nrole, so naturally they want to spend a lot of time there. That\u2019s not so great\nfor dating.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The\nsame level of mastery and ease you have as a professional can happen with\ndating\u2014IF<\/em>\u2014you make an investment, and push through the occasionally\nless-than-ideal moments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In\nother words: Don\u2019t let a little discomfort drive you back behind your desk or\nthe safety of a screen. If you do that, you\u2019ll never grow into the romantic\nleading role that delivers the worthwhile connection you ultimately want.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Instead,\nsmile at yourself and accept that risk and awkwardness are part of the process.\nSee the humanity in the situation, embrace it, and even have fun with it. Your\ndate is feeling awkward too!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Remember,\ndating is a skill. The more you do it, the better you get at it. And the better\nyou get at it, the more enjoyable and rewarding it is!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
2. Leverage Your Networks<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\nLeverage your networks for connections<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n
While every dating app has it\u2019s place, don\u2019t overlook the power of exponential connection to bring you into the orbit of your future other-half. The same way you might call on your professional network to source and recruit an outstanding new CTO or stellar in-house counsel, you can low-key put the word out that you\u2019re single\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026and\nlooking.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Now,\nI\u2019m not saying you should publish a post about it on LinkedIn. But I am saying\nit\u2019s worth it to drop a hint here and there when you\u2019re in casual conversation\nwith other professionals\u2014especially those in a position to introduce you other\nlike-minded individuals.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
After\nall, the singles in your extended circles are most likely to share your\ninterests and social status.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Your\nprofessional network isn\u2019t the only one to tap. Family, friends, social clubs,\ncountry clubs, sporting leagues, and philanthropic networks are also worthy\nopportunities. There is a reason that introductions have been a\ntraditional way of pairing off through the ages.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
All of\nus have been single at one time or another, including your colleagues, clients,\nand peers. So mention it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s\nquite possible you are just one or two degrees removed from a person you\u2019ll\nwant to spend the rest of your life with.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
3. Start with Coffee <\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
First\ndates should be short! (And fun!)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<\/figure>\n\n\n\n
Knowing\nthat the date is going to last just three-quarters of an hour allows a lot of\nthe pressure to evaporate. Ask a few questions, answer a few questions.\nEveryone gets a chance to learn and a chance to share.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But\njuuuusst enough for everyone to know whether there should be a second date.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
4. Be Warm and Engaging<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<\/figure>\n\n\n\n
Do not\nprepare a list of interview questions you will ask your date. Do not plan to\ndrop names of tech celebrities you know or titles of roles you\u2019ve held.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Although\nyou are a success, dates are not about anyone\u2019s resume.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Be\nprepared to talk about things you know you both share an interest in\n(traveling, philanthropy, music, Esalen, golf, basketball), and also\nprepare to be good company.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ask\nquestions that don\u2019t require a yes or no answer, such as \u201cHow did you find\nyourself living in such an exciting city?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Being\nauthentic and open, with genuine interest, is the key here. (I know I don\u2019t\nneed to tell you where your phone should be during all this.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
5. Text a Thank You<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
The\nold adage about waiting three days after a date to make contact is no longer.\nThe same way you would thank a VC for feedback on your pitch-deck or slack a\nquick gif to a colleague after a meeting, it\u2019s fine to send a brief text\nacknowledging that you just spent time with someone and enjoyed it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Leave\nthe gamification to digital dating, so that your real life sensibilities can\ntake over at this stage of your personal life. Something as simple as \u201cHey,\nthat was fun. I\u2019d be willing to do it again,\u201d or \u201cThanks\u2014really enjoyed it!\u201d is\nfine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I love\ntalking about this and could go on forever with everything I want people to\nknow about how easy it can be to find and connect with the right person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When\nyou are caught up in your professional life, genuine romance can be elusive. If\nyou\u2019re not quite ready for a professional matchmaker, embracing a few simple\nbehaviors and engaging in a little bit of practice can ultimately have a very\npositive impact on your personal life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
CEO Fancois Bodine Consulting and Matchmaking<\/strong> <\/p>\n\n\n\n
In our swipe-right culture, dating has become gamified. And this is GREAT when you aren\u2019t sure what you\u2019re looking for (except for fun, that is), and are still preoccupied with your career. But at a certain point you may find you\u2019re ready to find a longterm partner. Unfortunately, if you\u2019ve been in a demanding professional […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[71],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1331","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dating-2"],"yoast_head":"\n
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