Red Flags vs Green Flags: What Really Matters in Modern Dating?
By Emily | August 11th, 2025
Let’s be real, navigating modern dating feels like wading through a million opinions, from dating apps to TikTok therapy and everyone’s unsolicited advice. It’s easy to get lost focusing on all the dating red flags you’re told to watch out for, but often, we miss the amazing green flags that really matter. This guide is all about giving you the real clarity on what to look for, and what to absolutely avoid, on your dating journey.
5 Red Flags Worth Paying Attention To
So, what exactly is a dating red flag? It’s not just some cute quirk that makes them unique. These are toxic relationship signs that tell you something’s off.
- Love Bombing: Overwhelming you with intense affection and grand gestures super early on. It’s often a tactic to gain control.
- Poor Communication or Ghosting: A common talking stage red flag, they might disappear, leave you on read for days, or just struggle to have a straightforward chat.
- Disrespecting Boundaries: One of the biggest red flags on a date, they push back or make you feel guilty after you’ve set a limit.
- Inconsistent Behaviour: Their words and actions don’t line up, leaving you constantly guessing where you stand.
- Criticism Disguised as “Honesty”: A subtle form of gaslighting in relationships, they make hurtful comments about you under the guise of “just being honest.”
Remember when Jai Brooks and Ariana Grande spilt, reportedly due to him being absent and unsupportive after her grandfather passed away? That lack of emotional support in tough moments is a classic red flag people often miss.
5 Green Flags & Signs of a Healthy Partner
Okay, now for the good stuff! While dating red flags scream “caution,” green flags are those quiet, consistent signs that point to emotional maturity and serious long-term potential.
- They listen without interrupting: When you’re talking, they’re actually listening, not just waiting for their turn to speak, and ask insightful follow-up questions.
- They respect your boundaries: If you say “no” or “I’m not comfortable,” they totally get it and don’t push back. They value your comfort and limits.
- You feel calm, not anxious, after dates: Instead of overthinking every little thing, you feel settled and genuinely good. It’s a sign they bring peace, not chaos, into your life.
- They communicate intentions clearly: You’re not left guessing where you stand or what they’re looking for. They’re straightforward about their feelings and desires.
- They follow through on plans: If they say they’re going to do something, they do it. It shows they’re reliable and value your time.
These steady green flags might not always feel as “exciting” as a dramatic rollercoaster. But trust us, they’re the absolute foundation for a genuinely healthy and lasting connection.
What Actually Matters in Modern Dating
It’s easy to get caught up in fleeting sparks, but here’s what really counts. Emotional safety wins over surface-level compatibility, clarity beats games every single time, and communication always trumps chemistry. While apps can push you towards quick judgments, real-life interactions like speed dating let you actually feel out the vibes and make genuine connections. So, slow down, breathe, and learn to trust that green flag energy!
Red & Green Flags in Speed Dating
You might think it’s impossible to spot flags in just five minutes, but you’d be surprised! In speed dating, red flags in dating can pop up if someone talks over you constantly, seems uninterested in your answers, or gives off a dismissive vibe. On the flip side, green flags shine when they ask genuine questions, are respectful if you take a moment to think, and make you feel totally at ease. Even in these quick encounters, you can absolutely sense someone’s energy and if their vibe matches yours.
Ready to Meet Someone Worth Your Time?
Tired of swiping, mixed messages, and red flags? Speed dating with CitySwoon is the real deal! It’s a refreshingly face-to-face way to meet amazing people who actually show those awesome green flags from the very first chat. To ditch the dating games and discover genuine connections, explore our upcoming events and find your next great date!